We had to write a biography for NOSB nats, so…

Audrey Huang is a freshman at Mission San Jose High School who especially takes pleasure in eating tomatoes. She enjoys spontaneously breaking into dance to the beat of Justin Bieber’s amazing music in class. While this is her first year in NOSB, she has already discovered that the water in our ocean basins comes not from Kyogre but actually from Groudon’s inadvertent flatulation. Audrey’s favorite marine animal would be the Wooper she secretly grows in her toilet, but she now fawns over pictures of Scotoplanes or Ambystoma mexicanum, realizing that she might as well become infatuated with something that actually exists. Audrey is a Science Bowler, eCyberMissioner, sometimes-Quiz Bowler, and “expert” time traveller when not recounting her Yu-Gi-Oh cards or polishing her plastic Pokeball. In the future she has no idea what she wants to study, but her dream has always been to become a member of Team Rocket. Audrey sometimes wishes that she were a barreleye fish, with the insight to see everything around her (including out of the top of her head).

Yeah, too bad there was a 75 word limit. The above was at least 170. The new version? Oh, come on…

Audrey Huang is a freshman who enjoys rocking to Justin Bieber’s amazing voice. She has recently discovered that our oceans don’t actually come from Kyogre, even as a NOSB newbie, and fawns over Scotoplanes. In the future she would love to join Team Rocket. Often wishing for a life as a barreleye fish, she would love to have the insight to see everything around her (including out of the top of her head).

Don’t reign in your inner muse… or troll, I guess.

Note: Brian Tsui would like to be recognized here for his never-ending flashing, whoring, etc. and whatever inspiration he may have offered with his boxers.

I think everyone has noticed by now that it’s 2010, unfortunately. Or fortunately. Unlike my clever peers and their gmail stats, I have no expectations whatsoever for the rest of humanity in the coming new year and apparently that’s the most optimistic standpoint of all.

The time moves on, yet my beloved Edwaaart still won’t consent to turn me into a vampire. I’d love to drink macrophages, water, clotting factors, urea, glucose, various minerals and ions, basophils, neutrophils, NK cells, eosinophils, monocytes, cytoplasmic fragments, fibrinogen, prothrombin, and all of the fats and wastes carried in blood. If I were Bella, I would seriously just run into Harry Clearwater’s arms and get some of that boss fish fry.

According to Gregory and a bunch of other crackpots and douchelords, today is a new day, and it’s the first day of a new year. Actually, it was a bit anticlimatic. The Chinese are waiting. They are waiting, and their celebrations pwn yours. Not only do they have a mixture of potassium nitrate, sulfur, and charcoal, but they also have eggrolls.

Basically in the past year I have no opinion whatsoever of myself except for the usual AHAHAHAHAHHAA bow down.

I clearly recall joining a Twilight google group right after the movie came out and trolling everyone into oblivion. I trolled on my gmail stats. I trolled on Facebook. I trolled on blogs. I trolled on youtube. I went on SlashNET during ungodly hours and trolled. I trolled in school. Basically I trolled.

I also wrote too many Ws, Xs, Ys, and Zs and read way too much textbook. BSing in school isn’t even interesting anymore because all of you are masters at it and it’s a normal skill.

I learned to jack stuff in the middle of the night.

But we also got a lot done. And I think that that shit is really important, including the normal AC stuff and especially sebqueb and the sebqueb archives. Hoorah.

The first dickkick of the year is inserted below.

XOXO

Audrey <3

It’s best to open this post in another window and read it while looking at the pictures in the post below. Remember, the pictures can be seen in bigger form by clicking them once, and even bigger by clicking it another time.

The pictures are numbered across a row.

1. Ricks is leaning against a tree, and we’re waiting to see George Washington’s “mansion” on Mount Vernon.
2. Oh yeah! We arrived HECKA early for the plane, and spent, like TWO FRIGGIN’ HOURS WAITING. Mostly playing card games. But then we got bored, and started having camera wars. We’re trying to take pictures of each other, but only fools like to have their pictures taken. This is Hairuo, DUH. You can’t see his face because of the masking camera.
3. Trying to take a picture of Raghu… his head is so shiny!
4. GOT YOU MARGARET!
5. Margaret: Huh? Me: snickers. NOTHING
6. Audrey (whispers): Margaret. Psst. MOVE YOUR HEAD. Margaret obliges. HA! GOT YOU ADI! Adi: Huh? Me: -sweatdrops- NEVER MIND.
7. OH LOL! It’s Raghu walking and dancing to “Zippity Doo Da!” MAGNIFY!
8. Ricks and Anderson were talking. And Ricks was…get this…LAUGHING. And, seriously, it’s like the Bouncing Bongos all over again. O.O But Ricks doesn’t like his picture taken, either. He looks…yeah, you get it.
9. Adi is attempting to be mature for once and attempting to read a book and ignore the rest of us. Note: ATTEMPTING
10. AHAHHAHAHAH! RAGHU GOT CAUGHT OFF GUARD.
11. Shining a light is a good way to get your face hidden.
12. It’s Hairuo’s flashlight, again. But his face is too fugly for pictures, so thank God.
13. Tch. It was a red-eye flight, so we left at ten and arrived at D.C. at six in the morning. Hairuo just put on the “Snooze Pack” (yes, that’s what JetBlue called it) [note the eye thingies and the PLUGS in his ears] and doodled off to sleep. Yes. It’s funny. Note how his head looks kinda warped. IT IS NOT A COMPUTER-GENERATED EFFECT.
14. Hairuo, again. I was sitting between Margaret and him. ROFLS. He spent the entire time sleeping. Margaret and I were watching this History Channel show about UFOs and mutilated cows.
15. I pulled an all-nighter. Trust me, it wasn’t fun. And it was all for show. So whatever. But, yeah, I was studying Earth Science. Unlike the rest of those fools. I think the yellow stuff in the cup is… orange or apple juice? NO, IT IS NOT URINE. I think.
16. Okay, it was orange juice. From that can, as you can see. IT WAS SO SMALL. That was what I was doing on the ENTIRE plane ride. From top to bottom: orange juice can, “Snooze Pack” which had the eye thingies and the ear plugs, notebook bobberthingie, book about some random physics stuff, EARTH SCIENCE FRIGGIN’ TEXTBOOK.
17. Same, just at different angle. I think some people got pissed at me for using flash photography on a plane in the middle of the night and turning on the cabin lights. Oh, well, I got ASIAN PRIDE.
18. Okay, yeah. We’re finally on the East coast, but at Dulles Airport in Maryland, I think. Since we arrived a day early to have some more FUN, Ricks had to rent a van. It was really brown on the outside. BROWN. Ugly. BIG. LONG. HUGE. I think we should have nicknamed it the Ricksroller, just like our hydrogen fuel cell car. Ricks was driving. He was okay, I guess. And Anderson was sitting next to him. Adi, Margaret, Raghu the next row back, and Hairuo and me in the back. By then I was freaking tired. And sleepy. And hungry. Like the rest of them. NEXT STOP: MCDONALD’S.
19. The car rental place where we got the Big Brown Van.
20. Testing out my camera, AGAIN.
21. O.o I think that was a fire extinguisher, photographed through the window.
22. Bigger. We went to McDonald’s after that. I got a yoghurt parfait, Margaret didn’t eat anything, Adi got this GIGANTIC plate of biscuit, eggs, pancakes, and sausage. Who knew that he could eat that much? And Hairuo got…coffee.
23. On the van. I TOLD YOU we were tired. But, like I said, I couldn’t sleep. LMAO ADI FELL ASLEEP ON RAGHU’S SHOULDER. THAT’S TRUE LOVE RIGHT THERE. Actually, I took this picture for sabotage, and for Raghu to use as evidence that Adi was, well, you know.
24. Margaret’s asleep, too. I think I drifted off a bit after that.
25. YAY! WE’RE GETTING TICKETS NOW! I’m not sure what we’re all laughing at. Maybe we were pulling more jokes about Newark Challenger. Or laughing at the next picture.
26. Yes, think of something humorous and insert it here. There are a lot of possibilities.
27. AHHHHHH! IT’S MICHAEL JACKSON. Aka George Washington. HIS EFFIGY SHALL BE PRESERVED IN METAL ON A WALL FOREVA! <3
28. Wow. This picture’s out of order. This is on the way to the nationals, where we competed in the final round. Margaret and Adi are playing Go Fish. Tch. Babies. Look at Adi’s face up close. IT’S HIS FACE. Yes, that’s his weird smile. It almost compares to Raghu’s pedo smile, but we’ll see some of that later on.
29. Plants. I love plants!
30. We were taking pictures of the security camera. I don’t know why. Because it’s cool?
31. HI SECURITY CAMERA! Oh, by the way, this was on Mount Vernon.
32. More plants.
33. The Washington Memorial from the van window. We’re all friggin’ tired.
34. The giant phallus of America, white and pointing, is puncturing the sky.
35. And, again, it punctures the sky.
36. What is this structure? THAT’S RIGHT!
37. Again, and…
38. Again.
39. Finally, a horizontal picture. Actually, I think it’s half yellow and half white. They switched brick thingies because of a flood or something. I forget, but it’s different.
40. I forget which memorial this is. We went to, like, ALL of them.
41. This is a close-up. We really just passed by this one.
42. TREES! I LOVE THE TREES IN D.C.!
43. Trees.
44. Naked statue, dunno why that’s here. I think I was planning to build up a cache of stock pictures for some photoshopping. WHATEVER. And, no, I don’t look at it for hours on end.
45. More trees. Adi thinks that I think that trees are people. I said that when I was hyper. You really can see FACES ON THEM!
46. Lincoln’s sitting on his big ol’ chair.
47. You can see one of his most famous quotes on top or something. Enlarge it.
48. Uh…one of two eagles “guarding” the Emancipation Proclamation…or is it the Gettysburg Address?…
49. It was supposed to be vertical.
50. Pillars and ceiling. It was really pretty.
51. People, pillars, and ceiling. Not so pretty.
52. MLK Jr. made his “I Have a Dream” speech here. Can you call him Milk Jr.? It’s his initials…
53. The Reflecting Pool. It’s supposed to be perfectly aligned and pretty and all that, but forget that.
54. A statue thingie that looks like a pot. Wonderful, isn’t it?
55. An epic picture of the Phallus reflected on Water. Don’t get the pun, remember Japanese mythology and the genders of such.
56. Trees. I think I have a whole history with these guys.
57. Lincoln Memorial, trying to make it straight in the picture.
58. Pillars. There’re supposed to be one for each state.
59. Again, pillars. BE STRAIGHT!
60. Statues of soldiers on the way to some more memorials. Vietnam War one, I think.
61. Anderson and Adi and Hairuo walking in front of me.
62. Flower for a loved one. Vietnam War Memorial, I think.
63. Soldiers…statue. The Wounded Will BE Remembered Forever.
64. Korean War Memorial. Their faces are so haggard, and it does really look like they’re trooping through snow. You can see the antennae of their radios there. I wonder what it would look like in winter?
65. It was beautiful, in a grotesque way. The suffering…
66. Look at the picture in enlarged form. The soldiers’ faces.
67. We’re fighting for our country. Don’t forget us.
68. We’re fighting for our country. Don’t forget us.
69. Don’t forget our suffering.
70. Don’t forget what we did for freedom and justice.
71. Remember what we did.
72. Remember the KOREAN WAR.
73. Remember the coldness and the frosty nights.
74. Remember how we struggled to fight for our country…remember US.
75. If you look closely, you can see the soldiers etched in the black marble. There aren’t just American soldiers there. This is a tribute to ALL soldiers.
76. In the van, again. Yes! We’re finally going to the 4H Center! (where we’ll live and eat and laugh and chill and compete for the next few great days)
77. Oh, MY GOD! IT’S ALEC BREWSTER! HE’S SO HAWT! (Yes, it’s a joke) And he’s looking at his cell phone! zOMG!
78. MORE ALEC BREWSTER!
79. ALEC BREWSTER (aka THE BREWB, THE BREWBSTER, ALEC BREWSTER (said with some mild mouth spewing)) CLAPPING!
80. ALEC BREWSTER NOT CLAPPING!
81. ALEC BREWSTER DRINKING! What, we don’t know. We were in the Ohio Room having a welcome assembly.
82. CLAPPING!
83. NOT CLAPPING!
84. NOT CLAPPING! WE’RE STALKING YOU, BREWB! Actually, he did start staring at us, because he noticed we were taking so many pictures of him and laughing so hard. Us, being Me and Raghu and Margaret. Adi and Hairuo and Ricks and Anderson were just going like, WTF?!
85. MONKEY BREWB!
86. THE BREWB IS FINALLY STANDING UP!
87. AND STARING OFF INTO THE SUNSET! WITH US! HE’S IMAGINING A LIFE WITH US! AND LOVING IT! (okay, that was just stalkerish freaky) Now we’re also eliciting the stares of the people sitting in front of us. That would be Challenger, I think. Challenger Sunnyvale, the nice awesome ones.
88. Alec Brewster, again! See our obsession! He’s the motto of the 2008-2009 Hopkins Science Bowl Team A!
89. Statue in front of Air and Space Museum. Now the DOE is giving us buses and transporting us en masse, so no more Ricks Driving Ricksroller.
90. Capitol/Capital building. Whatever. I didn’t take any pictures for our tour, though. We saw a bunch of statues, and Raghu and I were debating the entire time. Ha, Raghu. I won.

91-168: Air and Space Museum. I was paired up with Hairuo, ugh, because we both had to take pictures for 2SRP. Although I only needed one of a spaceship, and Hairuo was PMSing over all of them. You can pretty much tell when the pictures stop, right until the fuel cell car.

168: Alright! Day 4! Day 1 was doing the random stuff because we arrived early, in the Fugly Brown Van. Day 2 was doing the paid tour stuff from the DOE. Day 3, I don’t really have pictures for right now. There was one in the Argus and Mercury News. And now, Day 4, is the hydrogen fuel cell competition and Double-Elimination Rounds against Challenger and Jonas Clarke, I think. I don’t remember.

169. Alright, so we go to Chevy Chase High School for the fuel cell competition, which is basically racing. We have a few hours beforehand to tweak our design documents and car some more. But we’re well-prepared. So we spend basically the entire time doing the “paperwork” and what was necessary, hopping around spying on Alec Brewster, and playing cards. Hairuo is already officially not part of our team, since about this morning.

170. A close-up of the fuel cell.

171. Adi when he’s playing cards. It was BS. The card game, I mean. And, totally, I pwn at Heartattack. The blue sign you can partially see is an epic sign saying “Hopkins Junior High School.” It has the DOE and the Science Bowl 2009 logo on it.

172. Raghu and his mad sucking skills. And his straw-harassing. At lunch. Apparently the veggie food really sucked, and he was complaining about it. I thought it was pretty good, though. DUDE. CAUCASIANS like the DOE aren’t freakin’ cheap at all! A gigantic sandwich/wrap, soda, cookies and brownies, pasta, and fruit! OH YEAH!

173. UNBELIEVABLE! I was pissed at Raghu, but that all disappears after we race each other. EW! A HEART! Raghu is seriously funny. Even though we were all pissed at him.

174. Hairuo sleeping on Adi’s shoulder. Adi looks very pained right now.

175. Another picture for sabotage. We’re on the way to the finals.

176. Last day in D.C., really sad.

177. Outside, again, going to the Building Museum or something.

178. LOL. WE’RE EATING THE FANCY CATERING FOOD AFTER THE COMPETITION THAT WE WON! YEEEEEEES!!!!!!! Note Paul Ricks, sitting next to Raghu, who doesn’t like his picture taken.

179-181. Raghu, having fun joking with the rest of us.

182. The bus aisle, on the way back to Dulles Airport. Curses. That arm, as you can tell by its characteristics, is Ricks’s arm.

183. Outside. Oh, yeah, Raghu and I were playing a game in the Big Brown Car. We were waving at people in the cars, to see their reaction. 99% of the time, no reaction. 1% Asians ignore us and get freaky looks on their faces.

184. RICKS IS SLEEPING! PRICELESS PICTURE!

185. Adi, we’re playing cards again. But thanks for the picture, where you don’t have a deadpan look on your face or that weird freaked-out smile.

186. Go Fish! Adi is failing, phailing, we can all tell.

187. CARDS!

188. CARDS!

189. Raghu is making a Twilight film on his mom’s cell phone. With him as Bella and Ricks as Edward. By the way, Ricks is sleeping. So, really, it was FREAKIN’ FUNNY. Raghu: Oh, EDWARD! I LOVE YOU! YOU’RE THE MOST HANDSOME AND BEAUTIFUL PERSON I’VE EVER MET! Ricks: -snore-

You know how elementary teachers always had thoes WIP [Work in Progress] folders? Anyways, here are some pictures of us, working on our hydrogen fuel cell. It is aptly named the RicksRoller.

“Give me the thing, Raghu.”

“What, what? No!”

“Give me the effing thing, Raghu.”

“What, noooooo!”

“Just. Give. It. NOW.”

“-giggles-”

“Now.”

“Hey, baby…”

“*giggles*These black tendril thingies are closing in on me! Ah ha ha ha!” As you can see, Raghu has his pedo smile on.

This is Raghu posing with the car.

*muttering out of the corner of mouth*

“I hate you.”

“I hate you.”

“No, I hate you more.”

“I hate you the most.”

“Your mom hates you the most.”

“Your fifty-six dads and one mom hate you the most.”

“Oh, yeah? Your–”

“You’re MNMIN’S PLACENTA HATES YOU THE MOST! AHAHAHHAHAHA!” I won. Pwnage.

Margie and Raghu: Rock, Paper, Scissors… DANG IT!

Me: Hn.

Them: Urgh…

Me: Ugh…

Adi: I’m drawing the water through the fuel cell.

Hairuo: I’m just posing for the sake of the picture, but I’m not actually doing anything.

Adi and Hairuo: Let’s play Barbie models!

Adi: I’ll be Ken, and you can be Barbie!

Me: Raghu, don’t do anything stupid.

Raghu: Your mom…

Me: Is stupid.

Wonderful, right?

Those are the pictures we have of our team at work. You know, when we started out as a team, the final positions, we really despised each other. Raghu and I were constantly at each other’s throats, and it wasn’t like anyone else really supported him either. Me and Adi and Hairuo were the most experienced, but Raghu had also done Science Bowl last year. Everything was basically just askew in the beginning, much to my regret. But, later, in D.C., everything just kind of sewed itself up as we were competing. It sort of knitted us together. Our team this year was really good, and I wish that it could’ve lasted as long as our memories will.

Ha, Raghu… Let’s go bother Ricks about the Ti-nspires again tomorrow. He said that the labs came, but not our nspires. The DOE PROBABLY SEND IT TO SAINT ANDREW’S EPISCOPAL SCHOOL!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Here are the songs particular to Science Bowl:

The MEAL CARD Song

WE WANT! OUR MEAL CARDS! NOW!

Saint Andrew’s Episcopal School

[to the tune of John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmitz or whatever]

Saint Andrew’s Episcopal School

Small brains, big <censored>, too

Their cars go really fast

They buzz in really slow

And that’s Saint Andrew’s Episcopal School

La la la la la la la la

Challenger

[Sing to the Barney song]

Challenger, Sunnyvale

They really pwn Newark School

With a great EQ and handshakes one and all,

Challenger Newark really sucks

Really, our whole team made it up. It’s sort of a rallying cry thing. It’s really great when all of us sing it. Sorry, did I say all? I meant Me and raghu. And Margaret, most of the time.